If it has fans, I might be one.

ashfae:

crzyprsn42:

lazycatcornernipples:

zombiecheetah:

pedestrianfootbridge:

harblkun:

krazykitsune:

leupagus:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

frostlands:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

“dude really you don’t have to just leave what the fu—”

“you disgust me here take these iron supplements”

“where did you even get th—”

“shut up and take your pills and dont forget your vitamin D”

“i’m going to check up on you weekly to make sure you’re taking them”

“that’s not necessary”

“maybe we should work on a dietary plan with foods rich in iron and other things for you”

“do you get this involved with all of your meals”

VAMPIREDUDE:
did u get the cookbook i orderd 4 u

ME:
Oh my god, first of all stop using text speak, you told me you were 278, second how did you know where I LIVED, third yes I got it.

VAMPIREDUDE:
heard onions were good 4 blood, eat lots

ME:
So you can have a tasty meal? I guess you’d rather I stay away from garlic, huh.

VAMPIREDUDE:
UR being v rude I just got u a present!!!

ME:
THE COOKBOOK IS CALLED “HOW TO TASTE DELICIOUS,” I AM CALLING THE COPS

#sounds like the begining of a beautiful friendship #gimme this sitcom

image

The Sun will go down eventually!

I love an overprotective vampire threatening their charge/food source with the line “the sun will go down eventually!”.

Imagine your OTP

“Your last blood work said your sodium and potassium levels were a bit low…”

“STOP CALLING IT BLOOD WORK EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A NIP AT MY HANDS ON THE COUCH!”

food to lovers

This is the vampire love story I have always wanted.

phdofappliedwizardry:

image

Although I am not a necromancer and despise the practice I must admit that this is a most ridiculous statement.

I read this as “Orcas” before I scrolled far enough to see the picture and was very confused for a moment when I did 🤣😭😭

neko-setsuka:

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:

cannabiscomrade:

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn’t be deterred by the prank calls because they would ‘taper off eventually’. It’d be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

themusesthrall:

kedreeva:

majorenglishesquire:

temporary-dysphoria:

a non-selective plan for the resurgence of fic commissions

Too many children in the comments like ‘I think authors should be able to share ko-fi links :) it’s just nice’ and ‘OP is just a cop.’ Homie, OP is trying to keep AO3 fully functional without interruption. I will report your ass, too, because I value fic artists and our freedom of expression and my audience and our shared history far more than I value the few bux you wanna make on a commission.

It is not hard to link to your Tumblr or Twitter with a vague message like, “If you’re looking for my other works or other ways of supporting me, go here: link.” I have had people buy me coffees after enjoying my fic and asking where to support me. I threw up a link to my Tumblr and people cared enough to follow it. They were fully understanding when I explained in the comments that they could not commission me and I could not link them directly to any donation platform, but they could go to xyz link to read more. And they did! Nobody has to put AO3 directly on the firing line.

Go ahead and commission independently. Just do it anywhere else except on AO3. And then don’t come crying to the community when you, personally, get a C&D from a massive corporation.

AO3 is our bullet shield. Tumblr will pull your shit down. Wattpad won’t fucking protect you. LJ and FF.net already sold our asses for one (1) corn chip. AO3 is trying to protect us, you goddamn lemmings.

If you cannot follow the rules that protect fanspaces, you do not belong in our fanspaces.

The only people who misunderstand this are doing so intentionally and maliciously. Do yourself a favor and block the infants who think this isn’t a big deal.

Please remember that this ALSO INCLUDES FANDOM CHARITY AUCTIONS.

When you post charity auction fics, DO NOT note that they are commissions in any way. You can note them as “here is my thank you gift to X for such-and-such event” but please please PLEASE do not list them as commissions.

I think a lot of younger people are seeing this as a moral panic by OP. These are NOT being laid out as moral injunctions! This is not about being good! This is about covering your own ass and keeping fandom away from larger-scale legal trouble. No one is saying “If you break the rules you’re BEING BAD!” They’re trying to tell you “breaking these rules is DANGEROUS for yourself and potentially others as well!”

gracerings:

interview with the vampire is good because it ponders the question what if there was a group of fucked up insane little men and they were all psychosexually obsessed with the same guy